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Funny Expat Stories: Living the Lekker Life

Updated: Feb 23




  • Moving Abroad: Like a Reality Show, But With More Admin & Fewer Prize Winnings 🎬🌍

Let’s be honest—moving abroad is a bit like signing up for Survivor: Expat Edition, except you don’t get a script, a map, or even a vague idea of what’s coming next. One minute, you’re feeling like Dora the Explorer, all excited with your new adventure. The next, you’re standing in the middle of a Dutch supermarket, holding what you thought was normal bread, only to realize it’s some kind of cake-bread hybrid that defies logic and possibly gravity.


  • Cycling Like Your Life Depends On It 🚲

First up, the Netherlands and its bike lanes. You think you know how to ride a bicycle? You don’t. Not like these cycling grannies do. These tannies have the confidence of Formula 1 drivers—weaving through traffic, holding a baguette, and possibly FaceTiming their grandkids, all while you’re out here wobbling like a baby giraffe on wheels.

And just when you think you’re getting the hang of it? BAM—someone whizzes past you at warp speed, leaving you questioning all your life choices. Throw in some rain, cobblestone streets, and a dodgy sense of direction, and you’ve got yourself a full-on survival sport. But don’t stress, bru, we all go through this initiation phase. You’ll get there. Eventually.


The Great Bakery Betrayal 🍞

Dutch bakeries should come with warning signs. Nothing is what it seems. You’ll be staring at a delicious-looking broodje, expecting something wholesome, only to take a bite and realize you’ve just committed to eating cake for breakfast. Or the other way around—thinking you're getting a lekker pastry, only to find out it’s packed with cheese or meat.

And don’t get me started on the grocery store confusion. You walk in, confidently looking for normal salt, and you’re suddenly knee-deep in a philosophical debate with yourself about whether you need jodium zout, zeezout, or kruiden zout. Whatever happened to just “salt”?


  • The Language Barrier: A Comedy of Errors 🗣️

Nothing humbles you quite like trying to communicate in Dutch. At first, it’s all “Oh, I’ll just pick up a few words here and there”—until you actually try to speak. Then suddenly, you’re smiling, nodding, and hoping the conversation ends before they realize you’ve understood exactly zero words.

And let’s not even talk about pronunciation. One moment, you’re trying to say "lekker dag", and somehow it comes out sounding like you’re summoning an ancient demon. The Dutch, bless them, will patiently correct you—but you know deep down they’re laughing inside.

But listen, my ou—embrace it. The awkwardness, the mispronunciations, the “deer in headlights” moments at the cash register. It’s all part of the journey.


  • You Can Take the Saffa Out of SA, But... 🇿🇦

Of course, being a South African abroad comes with its own unique set of challenges. You’ll call it a braai, they’ll call it a barbecue. You’ll say bakkie, they’ll think you mean a literal truck. And when you instinctively greet a stranger in the street with a “Howzit”, and they just walk right past you? Rude. But also, apparently, normal.

And let’s not forget the food cravings. The day you find a place that sells Mrs. Ball’s Chutney in a foreign supermarket is the day you feel like you’ve won in life.


  • Surviving the Madness (and Loving It Anyway) ❤️





So, ja, expat life is a wild ride. There’s confusion, miscommunications, and the occasional moment where you contemplate buying a one-way ticket home because you just want a proper Gatsby and a friendly car guard to wave at.

But it’s also brilliant. Every weird moment turns into a great story. Every struggle makes you stronger. And every time you manage to order a coffee without needing to point at the menu, you feel like an absolute champion.

So take a deep breath, my bru. Laugh at the chaos, lean into the madness, and keep going—because this ride? It’s one for the books. 🎢✨



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